When we found out Froggie was going to have Down syndrome I didn’t think twice about telling people about it. I was shocked and continued to be shocked by the rude, crazy, heartless and just plain ignorant comments I get from people. It amazes me the things I hear.
With the help of CAPODS (a Facebook group for Parents of kids with Ds in California) I compiled a list of things parents have heard when people found out their child has Ds. I sent this list to my friend Karen Morano and asked her to help us come up with smart ass responses to some of these comments!
Thank you Karen Morano!
“Don’t they die when they are about ten?”
“Yes. My twenty-five year old is just being stubborn.”
“I think you’re thinking of dogs, perhaps.”
“Most live long enough to get the Denny’s senior citizen discount.”
“Yes, that is when all their extra chromosomes EXPLODE. I do hope you’re not sitting next to my daughter when it happens.”
“No, we’re electing to keep ours alive until adulthood when we can sell all her fully-developed organs on the black market for drug money.”
“Yes. They are also reincarnated into their own bodies quite often”
“Well if you have to have a disability, this is the one you want”
“Doc, I’m a collector. I want them all. Is Down Syndrome part of a starter kit?”
“Down Syndrome? No, I’d rather my child have Up Syndrome. Down Syndrome just sounds negative.”
“If I have to have a disability, this is the one I want—wait, did my kid get diagnosed with a disability or did I?”
“Does it come with a free set of kitchen knives?”
“So Down Syndrome kids are more likely to have heart defects, gastrointestinal problems and all these other things that go wrong but this is the one I want my child to have?”
“I respectfully disagree. Models with Crie de Chat Syndrome have a higher resell value.”
“You know, you can train her to keep her tongue in her mouth.”
“That’s great. Can we train YOU to keep your mouth shut?”
“It’s an automatic cooling device, it saves us on our air conditioning bills.”
“Really, that’s the biggest thing we need to be concerned about? Her keeping her tongue in her mouth?”
“Could you maybe focus on keeping YOUR daughter’s tongue in her mouth and let us worry about OUR daughter?”
“Why worry about it? It’s her Michael-Jordan-makes-a-slam-dunk face!”
“But whenever she closes her mouth her eyes bug out, then if we push her eyes back in her ears stick out”
“Wow, your baby looks so normal!”
“Wow, so does yours!”
“Wow, so does yours! Does he have Down Syndrome, too?”
“Wow, so do you, and we all know you’re batshit crazy!”
“My baby looks so normal. Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
“So did Clark Kent, and he was Superman!”
“Why, what’s he supposed to look like?”
“You have a normal-looking baby. Hmmmm. Well, you have very normal-looking children, too.”
“What, exactly, do you mean by that? Does he look abnormal somehow?”
“Well, where I come from, we tell mothers they have beautiful babies, not that they look so normal. Maybe I missed the latest update from Miss Manners or something. Is normal the new beautiful? If so, I hope you and your husband have a completely normal anniversary celebration.”
“If you’re trying to compliment my baby, you could just say he’s cute instead of offering a comparison to so-called “normal” babies.”
“Too bad, we were hoping for a real freak.”
“What, exactly, are you implying?”
“Um, thanks?”
“My baby looks so normal? Because looks are everything, right?”